Parents’ Evening Raised Concerns? What Should You Do Next? - Lucy Hughes answers the questions parents ask the most. 

Lucy Hughes answers the questions parents ask the most. 

Parents’ evening can leave families with a lot to process. Sometimes the message is clear: a child is falling behind in a subject or needs more support. Sometimes it is much less obvious. A teacher may say a student is “doing fine”, while at home parents are seeing anxiety, exhaustion, homework battles or a real loss of confidence.

As Head of Private Tuition at Enjoy Education, Lucy Hughes speaks to hundreds of parents each year about exactly these kinds of concerns.

Here, she answers some of the questions that come up most often after parents’ evening.

My child’s parents’ evening was worrying. What should I do first?

The first thing I usually say to parents is: try to get really clear on what the concern actually is.

Parents’ evenings are short, and it is very easy to walk away with one phrase stuck in your head, such as “falling behind”, “lacks confidence” or “could be doing more”. I always recommend to parents that they try to separate that from the detail.

• Is this something the teacher has only noticed recently? 
• Is it happening in one subject or several? 
• Is your child struggling to understand the work, complete it, remember it or communicate what they know?

The more specific you can be, the easier it is to work out what support might actually help.

What if school says my child is “fine”, but I am still worried?

This comes up a lot, and I would not dismiss what you are seeing at home just because the school is not especially concerned.

A child can be achieving perfectly respectable grades while using a huge amount of energy to keep up. Parents are often the ones who see the fallout: homework taking far too long, tears over tasks that used to feel manageable, constant reassurance-seeking, exhaustion after school or a child becoming increasingly negative about learning.

If that is happening, I would do three things.

First, keep a note of what you are seeing for a couple of weeks. Look for patterns. Is it one subject? Certain types of homework? Particular days? Is your child spending significantly longer on work than you would expect?

Second, go back to the school with specific examples rather than a general feeling that something is wrong. Ask whether they are seeing the same thing in class, whether your child is working at the expected level without additional prompting, and whether there are any areas where they are quietly compensating.

Third, speak to your child. Often they can tell you whether the issue is that they do not understand the work, are afraid of getting things wrong, cannot keep up with the pace, or simply feel overwhelmed by the volume of it.

If the pattern continues, that is the point at which I would consider whether some targeted support could help. You do not need to wait for grades to fall before acting.

This is something we also explore in The Invisible Middle: Supporting Children Who Aren’t Failing, But Aren’t Thriving.

How do I know whether my child is actually falling behind?

I would look for a pattern rather than a single bad mark.

One disappointing test result is not usually enough to tell you very much. What matters is whether you are seeing the same difficulty repeatedly.

Signs I would pay attention to include:

• marks gradually dropping over a term
• the same gaps appearing in tests, homework and teacher feedback
• work taking much longer than it used to
• increasing reliance on help from a parent or teacher
• your child avoiding a subject they previously managed well
• repeated comments such as “careless mistakes”, “needs to show more working” or “not reaching their potential”
• a widening gap between what your child can explain verbally and what they can produce independently
• confidence falling alongside attainment

I would then ask the school a very direct question: “Is my child currently working at the level you would expect for them, and if not, where exactly is the gap?”

If you are still unsure, an independent academic assessment can be really useful. At Enjoy, we can arrange assessments that are marked by experienced private school teachers, giving families an external view of where a child is working well, where there may be gaps and what level of support would be appropriate.

That can be particularly helpful when school feedback feels too broad, when parents and school are seeing different things, or when you want a clearer picture before deciding whether tuition is necessary.

The key is to understand whether the issue is a knowledge gap, a skills gap, confidence or something else entirely. Once you know that, it becomes much easier to choose the right support. If you are trying to work out whether a difficulty is temporary or whether your child may need additional support, our guide to how to know if your child needs a tutor goes into this in more detail.

What should I ask my child after parents’ evening?

I would try not to lead with: “Your teacher says…” Instead, give them the opportunity to tell you how things feel from their perspective.

Questions like these can be useful:

• How do you think that subject is going?
• Is anything feeling harder than it used to?
• Do you understand the work in class but struggle when you do it alone?
• Is homework taking longer than you think it should?
• Is there anything you wish your teacher understood about how you learn?

Sometimes what a child says completely changes the picture.

A teacher may see someone who is quiet in class. The child may tell you they understand everything but are terrified of getting an answer wrong in front of other people. Those are very different problems. Sometimes the difficulty is not what a student knows, but their ability to show what they know independently.

When should I get a tutor?

I would consider a tutor when your child needs something that is difficult to provide consistently in a classroom setting.

That might be more time on a difficult topic, regular one-to-one feedback, help preparing for an exam, support rebuilding confidence or greater stretch for a child who is not being challenged enough.

The key benefit of good tuition is not simply “more work”. It is having someone who can spot where a student is getting stuck, adapt the pace, explain things differently and respond to them in real time.

For some children, a short period of focused tuition is enough. Others benefit from longer-term support, particularly in key exam years or where confidence has taken a knock.

I would also look closely at the tutor themselves. Subject knowledge matters, but so does the ability to build rapport, understand the child in front of them and adjust their teaching accordingly.

At Enjoy, that matching process is a big part of what we do. The right tutor should not just know the subject. They should know how to teach your child.

What if the problem feels bigger than one subject?

If concerns are showing up across several subjects, or you are also seeing changes in confidence, motivation, homework, attendance or wellbeing, I would stop looking at it as a single academic problem.

Sometimes parents’ evening simply confirms what a family has already been sensing: something broader is getting in the way.

At that point, the question becomes less “Does my child need a maths tutor?” and more “What is making school feel harder than it should?”

For one child, the answer might be organisation or study skills. For another, it could be confidence, anxiety, an unmet learning need or a mismatch between the child and their current environment. That is why I would always look at the whole picture before deciding on the next step. Tuition may still be useful, but it might sit alongside mentoring, school support, an independent assessment or, in some cases, a more personalised education plan.

Two children can come out of similar parents’ evenings needing completely different things.

The goal is not to add more support for the sake of it. It is to work out what is actually getting in the way, then choose the support that addresses that.